A gas station out in the boondocks was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-Up".
Soon a local yokel pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The guy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close, the number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."
A week later, the same guy, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The guy guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."
As they were driving away, the guy said to his buddy, "Bubba, I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.
Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Is this 597-7039?
"Hi honey, this is Daddy. Is your Mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank." Brief pause.
Daddy says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Oh yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy right now."
"Uh, OK then...." Daddy says, "... here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy and Uncle Frank that Daddy's car just pulled up outside the house."
"OK, Daddy!"
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?"
"Well Mommy got all scared, jumped out of the bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and fell downstairs and she's not moving anymore."
"I'm sorry you had to see that, honey. What about 'Uncle Frank'?"
"He jumped out the back window into the swimming pool... but he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water for Winter, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and he's not moving either." Long pause.
Daddy says, "Swimming pool??? Is this 597-7039?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank." Brief pause.
Daddy says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Oh yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy right now."
"Uh, OK then...." Daddy says, "... here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy and Uncle Frank that Daddy's car just pulled up outside the house."
"OK, Daddy!"
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?"
"Well Mommy got all scared, jumped out of the bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and fell downstairs and she's not moving anymore."
"I'm sorry you had to see that, honey. What about 'Uncle Frank'?"
"He jumped out the back window into the swimming pool... but he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water for Winter, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and he's not moving either." Long pause.
Daddy says, "Swimming pool??? Is this 597-7039?"
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