A: Let me atom.
Q: Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
A: Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum,
and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?
A: Sherlock Ohms
Heisenberg went for a drive and got stopped by a traffic cop. The cop
asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replied, "No,
but I know where I am."
Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
A: From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. However, after
seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.
** Encounter between a Capacitor and an Inductor
One evening, with his charge at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to
get a cute coil to discharge him. He went to the Magnet Bar to pick up a
chip called Millie Amp. He caught her out back trying self induction;
fortunately, she had not damaged her solenoid. The two took off on his
megacycle and rode across the Wheatstone Bridge into a magnetic field,
next to a flowing current , to watch the sine waves.
Micro Farad was very much stimulated by Millie's characteristic curve.
Being attractive himself, he soon had her field fully excited. He set
her on the ground potential, raised his frequency, lowered her
resistance, and pulled out his high voltage probe. When he inserted it
in parallel, he short-circuited her shunt. Fully excited, Millie cried
out, "ohm, ohm, give me mho". As he increased his tube to maximum
output, her coil vibrated from the current flow. It did not take long
for her shunt to reach maximum heat. Now with the excessive current
shortening her shunt, Micro's capacity rapidly discharged - every
electron was drained off. But that was not the end of it. Indeed, they
fluxed all night, tried various connections and hookings until his bar
magnet weakened, and he could no longer generate enough voltage to
sustain his collapsing field. With his battery fully discharged, Micro
was unable to excite his tickler, so they went home. A few weeks later,
they were merged forever and oscillated happily ever after.