Saturday, March 31, 2007

The Towel

No matter what the husband does in bed, his wife never achieves orgasm.

Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion: "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."

They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It doesn't help and the wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi.

"Okay," he says to the husband, "let's try it reversed." Have ! the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."

Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. They go home and hire a strapping young man. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting, screaming orgasm.

The husband smiles, looks at the young man, and says to him triumphantly:

"You see, you young schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel."

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


Q: What goes clip-clop, clip-clop, bang-bang, bang-bang, clip-clop, clip-clop?
A: An Amish drive by shooting.

Q. How do you scare the s*** out of a man?
A. Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Q: What do you call a guinea pig with two rolls of duck tape on its back?
A: A slut.

Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
A: Say, "Nice Penis."

Little Johnny

Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"

After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God is both male and female."

This confuses the little boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?" "Well,God is both black and white."

This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"

At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers none the less, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."

At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"


Important To Have Friends