The Trial

During a trial in a small town, the prosecutor calls the first witness, an old lady. Just to make her at ease, the prosecutor asks:

- Mrs Smith, do you know who I am ?

To which the old lady replies:

- Of course I know who you are, Mr Johnson. I know you since you were a kid, and honestly speaking, you've become a huge dissapointment to your parents. You lie constantly, you think yourself qualified to give an opinion about anything, even if you don't have the slightest idea about the matter under discussion, you are prepotent, abusive, you cheat on your wife, and worst of all, it is said you've embezzled funds from the church. Yeah, I know who you are.

So the prosecutor is kind of rattled after that - and just to save face, it asks, while pointing to the defense lawyer:

- And do you know who he is?

To which the old lady now replies:

- Of course I do. I've also known Mr Williams since he was a child.
Everyone knows he got his law degree by cheating. He also gambles, doesn't pay alimony to his two previous wives, is the worst laywer in the whole county, it hasn't paid taxes in the last 10 years or so, and also cheats on his wife with three different women - one of them being your wife, by the way. Yeah, I know Mr Williams - his parents aren't very proud of him either.

The defense lawyer is about to have a stroke.

The judge calls both the prosecutor and the defense laywer to approach the bench, and whispers:

- If either one of you asks this old witch if she knows me, I'll send you straight to the electric chair