* Bangs her head on the headboard BEFORE you begin.
* She yells out her own name.
* Asks to be on top so she can balance her checkbook more easily.
* Holds up a picture of the Playboy centerfold to hurry you along.
* Keeps asking, "Are you SURE you're not gay?"
* Instead of asking to leave her shirt on, she wants to leave her pants on too.
* Her moans of delight discovered to actually be a WAV file.
* During the act, she screams, "Oh, baby, yadda, yadda, yadda!"
* You begin to suspect she is only "playing" dead.
* You find yourself sitting backstage at the Jerry Springer show.
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