Friday, March 20, 2009

40 Things Men Would Never Say

1. I'd like to take you out on a date but your tits are just too big for me.
2. Here honey, you use the remote for awhile.
3. While I'm up, can I get you anything?
4. Sex isn't important, sometimes, I just want to be held.
5. We never talk anymore.
6. Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
7. I'm sick of blow-jobs. How about if I just try to satisfy you for an hour?
8. Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!
9. I'd much rather watch Days of Our Lives than Bay Watch.
10. You are right and I was wrong.
11. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
12. No I don't want another beer. I have to work tomorrow.
13. Her tits are just too big.
14. Sometimes I just want to be held.
15. That chick on "20/20″ gives me a woody.
16. Sure! I'd LOVE to wear a condom.
17. We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
18. Screw Monday Night Football; let's watch "Ally McBeal".
19. It's late. Put your clothes back on and I'll take you home.
20. Honey, I'm going to the store, do you need more tampons???
21. I know you just blew me, but I need a kiss.
22. I'm sick of beer, give me a fruit juice with a lemon twist.
23. Great! Your mother's coming to stay with us again!
24. I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor knows that her drapes are open when she's getting ready for bed?. Maybe I should tell her.
25. No way! You weeded the garden last week. It's MY turn!
26. Better get rid of these old Penthouse magazines. I don't look at them any more.
27. I understand.
28. This movie has way too much nudity.
29. Damn, we're late for church!
30. No! I don't want to see your sister's tits.
31. Damn these onions, pass me a tissue.
32. Put some panties on for Christ's sake.
33. Eat something!! You are starting to look like a Victoria's Secret model!!
34. Don't pick that up; I got it.
35. Happy Anniversary!!!
36. Hey, isn't today your mother's birthday??
37. Let's talk, I miss talking.
38. Gay men have rights, too!
39. I am just too tired to have sex again today!
40. Are you losing weight sweetie??

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