The New Gym in Town

This guy sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 pounds on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 pounds. They strip him and lead him into this huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute. He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a gorgeous blonde, stark naked, with a sign saying "If you can catch me, you can fuck me."

He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management, leads him to the showers, and then weighs him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 pounds.

He's back on the street and starts to think. "Jesus, I was _that_ close to catching her. If I had a little more time...." So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 10 pounds this time."

"No problem," says the manager. Again he strips, and is led to the large gym. This time he's walking toward the door when it opens and out comes a beautiful redhead, stark naked, with a sign saying "If you can catch me, you can fuck me." He starts running again, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym again, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management, this time they have to help him to the showers, and then they weigh him again. Sure enough, he lost exactly 10 pounds.

After a bit of rest and time to think about it, he's sure he could catch the girl with just a little more. So the next day he goes in and says he wants to lose the full 20 pounds.

The manager asks if he's sure about that and the man says he's positive. The manager shrugs his shoulders and leads him back to the gym. This time the man is standing right next to the door when it opens and out comes a gorilla with a sign saying "If I catch you, I fuck you."

He lost his 20 pounds!