Necrophilia

A man was brought before the judge and charged with necrophilia (making love to a dead woman).

The judge told him, "In 20 years on the bench, I've never heard such a disgusting, immoral thing. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't  lock you up and throw away the key!"

The man replied, "I'll give you THREE good reasons:

    #1, It's none of your damn business;

    #2, She was my wife; and.....

    #3, I didn't KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way!!!!!"