The Italian Grandfather

An Italian family was considering putting their grandfather in a
nursing home. All the Catholic facilities were completely full so they
had to put him in a Jewish home. After a few weeks in the Jewish
facility, they came to visit Grandpa.

"How do you like it here?" asked the grandson.

"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," said
Grandpa. "We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the
wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from
everyone."

"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the
residents here," Grandpa said with a big smile.

"There's a musician here -- he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the
violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'! There is a
judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30
years, and everyone still calls him 'Your Honor'! And there's a
physician here -- 90 years old. He hasn't been practicing medicine for
25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor'!

And me...., I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me 'The
Fucking Italian'!"