It's Good to be a Man!

• Your last name stays put.


• The garage is all yours.


• Wedding plans take care of themselves.


• Chocolate is just another snack.


• You can be president.


• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.


• Car mechanics tell you the truth.


• You don't give a rat's butt if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.


• The world is your urinal.


• You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky looking.


• Same work... more pay.


• Wrinkles add character.


• Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.


• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.


• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.


• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.


• One mood, ALL the time.


• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.


• You know stuff about tanks.


• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.


• You can open all your own jars.


• You can leave the motel bed unmade.


• You can kill your own food.


• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.


• Your underwear is $6.95 for a three-pack.


• If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.


• Everything on your face stays its original color.


• You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.


• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.


• You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.


• You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He's mad at me."


• You don't mooch off other's desserts.


• You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.


• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.


• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.


• You don't have to shave below your neck.


• Your belly usually hides your big hips.


• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.


• You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife or your teeth.


• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.


• Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.