What men really mean

"Haven't I seen you before?" == "Nice ass."

"I'm a Romantic." == "I'm poor."

"I need you" == "My hand is tired."

"I am different from all the other guys" == "I am not circumcised."

"I want a commitment." == "I'm sick of masturbation."

"You're the only girl I've ever cared about" == "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."

"I really want to get to know you better." ==== "So I can tell my friends about it."

"It's just orange juice, try it." ==== "3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head."

"She's kinda cute." ==== "I want to have sex with her till I am blue."

"I don't know if I like her" ==== "She won't sleep with me."

"I miss you so much" == "I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good."

"Was it good for you?" == "I'm insecure about my manhood."

"How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?" ==== "Is my penis really that small?"

"I had a wonderful time last night." == "Who the hell are you?"

"Do you love me?" == "I've done something stupid and you might find out."

"Do you really love me?" == "I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later."

"How much do you love me?" == "I've done something really stupid and someone's on their way to tell you now."

"I have something to tell you." == "Get tested."

"I'll give you a call." == "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again."

"I've been thinking a lot." == "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."

"I think we should just be friends." == "You're ugly."

"I've learned a lot from you." == "Next!!!!"